Author: matt.kelemen

One of the things we enjoy about being parents is watching our kids toggle between the present and the future – in one moment expressing their kid-ness and in the next giving us a glimpse of who they might become. It’s an encapsulation of the timeless debates of philosophers and physicists about being and becoming – right in our living room! And this year, it showed up in some powerful and surprising ways.

For Dylan, it showed up in a letter from the San Francisco Ballet School inviting him to study on scholarship – one of twenty boys chosen out of thousands observed at schools across the city. If we were a bit surprised by the news (having barely heard a word from Dylan about the once-a-week Dance in Schools ballet sessions at school while they were happening), it just re-affirmed his enormous physical talent. Now, when he comes home showing off his tendus or explaining that his session got moved because the SF Ballet’s professionals needed their regular room, we shake our heads in wonder. Oh, and in case you were wondering if ballet has supplanted soccer, it has not. Indeed, Dylan took his first step on the path toward the professional game when he attended an invitation-only camp in Georgia hosted by the West Ham Academy (yes, that’s West Ham of the Premier League!). Back home, he joined a new club, practices at every opportunity, and is nearly surpassing Matt in his knowledge of players and teams in the European professional leagues.

For Adela, it showed up in a letter inviting her to join the San Francisco Girls Chorus. Another reminder that Adela was born for the stage, this opportunity transformed music from a hobby to nearly a job – with four hours of rehearsal supplemented by theory assignments and the need to memorize the words to a dozen songs. She took to it with a new level of devotion – really learning to read in the process! – and we were blown away watching her perform with the full chorus at Davies Hall for their annual holiday sing-a-long. Adela also continued with musical theater, performing in Hairspray and Suessical the Musical. She awaits – not altogether patiently – her first starring role.

The process of being and becoming is, of course, not limited to our children’s lives. We became godparents to Karla Abigail (aka Abby), the adorable daughter of our amazing caregiver Mirian and her husband Enrique. Jeannette also became a wedding officiant this year, undertaking the 10-mouse-click process in order to officiate the wedding of dear friends Katherine and Tony in San Francisco’s City Hall. Though inspiring, it did not steer her to a new profession, as she continues to work full time as the Director of Practice at the Education Trust-West in Oakland with an amazing group of colleagues. She is thankful for the opportunity to advocate for equitable opportunities and outcomes for low-income students and students of color as they prepare for college and career success. Her work takes her all over California, but she cherishes time with family and friends.

Matt became an employee while continuing to be a consultant. Having worked with New Leaders for two years as a consultant, he formally joined the organization in the spring as Executive Director of State Services. In that capacity, he leads a talented team of experts who advise states on their strategies for school leadership. It’s been highly rewarding work, as he has interacted with state and school district leaders from Hartford, Connecticut to French Lick, Indiana. Matt continues to teach at Stanford, loves his board work with Parents for Public Schools and Partners in School Innovation, and reserves a day a week for other consulting projects.

Others in our lives had notable milestones: Michael LaFors became a college graduate, Michael Cone became a lawyer, Mayee Yap received her MBA, Curt and Ann Kelemen became parents (welcome, Sydney), and Jonah Kelemen became a kindergartner.

Among our travels this year, London stood out. We spent a week there with friends and gracious hosts John, Alice, Kate and Abby. Barely scratching the surface of an amazing city, we took in a football match at Craven Cottage, a show in the West End, Stonehenge, Oxford, London Tower, the Globe, Westminster Abbey, Harrod’s and more. More than anything, it was a joy to see the kids learn in new ways. Summer took the kids east for time with the Kelemen clan – Dylan for a week in Liniken Bay, Maine, and Adela for a week in Columbia and the Delaware beach. In the fall, Kary and Nanette treated the LaFors clan to a Disney trip, where Dylan took good care of his cousin Cole while Adela and Claire enjoyed the magic of the place. And we ended the year traversing the mid-Atlantic, visiting Michele and Benoit’s “farm house” for the first time, celebrating Christmas in Richmond at the home of Jean-Paul and Laura, and spending a few quiet days in Baltimore, Columbia and DC.

On this last trip of the year, we traversed a bit of Civil War history, from Bull Run to Monticello to Richmond to Ford’s Theater in DC. Coinciding with the sesquicentennial of the Emancipation Proclamation, these visits reminded us of the heavy price that Americans have paid and continue to pay in the pursuit of full equality for all people. Jefferson got the “being” part right by declaring all men equal. Lincoln reminded us of what we would become by calling on people to honor the dead at Gettysburg by recommitting to the great task of giving the nation a “new birth of freedom.” That great task continues today and we’re blessed to be a part of it.

Peace to you and yours.

Jeannette, Matt, Dylan and Adela

Dylan and Adela recently developed a fascination with Greek mythology and the results have been nothing short of heroic. Not only do we have a new series of adventure chapter books to read together as a family (thank you, Percy Jackson), but we are also occasionally blessed with our kids engaging in hours of Greek God-based pretend play without adult intervention! We have indeed entered the Golden Age of parenting.

Dylan is, without a doubt, a son of Poseidon the Sea King, powerful and stormy. He regularly dazzles us with extraordinary feats, whether it’s a move on the soccer pitch or a complex math problem. And the stormy part? Well, let’s just say that his competitiveness can sometimes get the better of him. Like any good hero, he had a few quests this year, including a week in the high Sierra for his first sleep-away soccer camp, his first piano recital, a trip to Legoland with mom to see cousins Nico and Max, and (along with all of the other second graders) his first standardized test. Now in third grade, Dylan continues to love school – even the parts where he doesn’t get to have a soccer ball at his feet – and he continues to grow in his confidence with Spanish. But it’s on the soccer field where he really shows his stuff, as a high-octane, silky player and as a leader among his peers. We are really proud of how he continues to grow and mature… now if he could only make a pair of flats last longer than three months. Perhaps a gift from the Goddess Nike?

We had first thought to associate Adela with one or more of the muses. After all, her life revolves around the stage. After a winning performance in the spring show, Cinderella, her musical theater director asked her to perform with the older kids, so she got a speaking part as one of seven “young Fionas” in a production of Shrek: The Musical. She also started ballet training at ODC and voice lessons at home, she joined the San Francisco Girls Prep Chorus, and she performed a solo of “Lift Every Voice” to the Bethany church community. Yes, the muses have called to her. But then we thought she might be a child of Athena, since a spring trip to the Maker Faire and summer camps focused on robotics and zoo animals brought into focus her passion for science and discovery. Under the care and love of a wonderful first grade teacher, she has shot forward as a reader this year, just in time for the upcoming Read-a-Thon. And she claimed several trophies, including first lost tooth, first blue ski run, and the coveted throwing-away of the bicycle training wheels. In the end, though, Adela let us know in no uncertain terms that she is a daughter of Zeus. Simply put, she likes to be in charge.

Of course, she regularly takes that up with Jeannette, who was told many years ago by a Cuban Santeria priestess that she is a daughter of Changó, the African god of thunder and righter of wrongs. In that spirit, Jeannette transitioned to an exciting new job mid-year and is now the Director of Practice at the Education Trust-West. Nearly 10 years old, the Ed Trust-West is an educational policy, research and advocacy organization working to ensure high academic achievement of all students pre-K through college throughout California. For more about ETW’s great team and their efforts to ensure that all students, and especially low-income and underrepresented students, get what they need and deserve, go to edtrustwest.org. Jeannette also took a break between jobs and hosted “Camp Mom,” which the kids rated among their best summer camps. And she celebrated her twentieth college reunion with friends this fall.

While Matt aspires to the glorious victories of Perseus, he’s just happy not to have to consider himself Sisyphus! On the work front, Matt continued with his consulting practice, focusing more on helping states and districts develop stronger principal evaluation systems (see newleaders.org for more on that) and helping to create a new non-profit organization (see americaachieves.org, coming soon) devoted to making America a global leader in educational excellence and equity and to preparing every student for citizenship, college and careers. He is excited for the coming year when America Achieves becomes more public and he can share the work to support a set of districts and states to become “proof points” of large-scale success and improvement. On the personal front, Matt ran his second Cascade Lakes Relay in Oregon this summer and is theoretically training for the Great Ski Race in Truckee in March, though a bit of snow would help that cause. Where are the gods when you really need them, eh?

Like any good Olympians, we had our share of feasts, gatherings and quests. A few notables: We welcomed Doris – Dominic and Solomon Bannister’s mother from Sierra Leone – to San Francisco (a story that rivals any of Odysseus’ adventures). The kids and their soccer teammates got the rare honor of escorting the Mexican and Paraguayan national teams onto the field for a friendly in Oakland (not quite gladiators, but close). Matt’s siblings and their kids came west to welcome Audrey Sims into the world and we traversed the East Coast this summer, including the kids’ first Broadway show and trip to FAO Schwartz. Mimi and Pop-Pop indulged us with Thanksgiving in Carmel, CA (dare we say it was Dionysean?) and we celebrated Hanukah and Christmas in Tahoe with the LaFors clan. That was especially meaningful given Jeannette’s dad’s recent radiation treatments for prostate cancer. We are grateful that he is recovering and that everyone else in the family is healthy and well!

May you have a happy, healthy, peaceful 2012… and may the gods be with you!

Peace and Love,

Jeannette, Matt, Dylan and Adela

We went to the World Cup in 2010… oh, and some other stuff happened, too.

Without a doubt, South Africa in June was the centerpiece of our year. Dylan got his first taste of the beautiful game at its highest level, as we attended six games with eleven different teams, spirited fans, and some electrifying goals. Serious soccer fan that he is, Dylan eschewed all of the entertainment around the stadiums in favor of watching the teams warm-up an hour before game time. While Adela tolerated the soccer and was entertained by the face-painting and the treats, her indelible experiences came in the interactions with charismatic South African women and girls. She joined in the singing and dancing whenever she got the chance, and she took care to document her experiences on video and in her “journal.” We were all amazed by the astounding wildlife on view in the Madikwe Game Reserve, from huge herds of elephants to a rare sighting of a pygmy owl. And for Jeannette and Matt, the trip provided glimpses into the complex social and political structure of a truly incredible nation. We heard wrenching and moving stories of women living with AIDS and negotiating lives as refugees from the wars and strife of other parts of Africa. We met Apartheid survivors whose whole communities were razed and who are now re-creating neighborhood bonds and documenting the history that they lived. These conversations reminded us of other great travels to Cuba and China in that we met so many people who were and are witnesses to history in the making.

Now, on to the other stuff…

Dylan passed some big milestones in 2010. He took his first long trip alone, flying to the East Coast for a summer week in Vermont with cousins and grandparents. He blossomed as an independent reader, delighting in the mysteries of Encyclopedia Brown, the cleverness of Ivy and Bean yarns, and potty humor wherever he can find it. His Spanish vocabulary rivals that of his parents and he’s now earning a penny for each word he teaches us (for now, it’s feeling like a bargain). And he joined a competitive soccer team, where his athletic prowess and his competitive passion find their highest expression. If you aren’t already convinced that kids learn by being exposed to experts practicing their craft, you haven’t seen Dylan mimicking the ball-handling moves of Messi or Xavi. We have already decided that we will only brave the baking heat of Qatar for the 2022 World Cup if Dylan is on the national team, and that prospect is looking more likely by the day.

Adela had some big firsts of her own, not least starting Kindergarten. She’s blessed to have a warm, caring, and tremendously competent teacher, Maestra Debby, whom Adela loves dearly. She has not embraced homework or after-care as willingly as her brother, but she’s pretty taken with other aspects of growing up, like new friends and getting an allowance. And she too is working hard to become a reader, even surpassing her goals of reading or listening to 100 books in this month’s school read-a-thon. Like her brother, Adela took a solo trip to the east coast and especially enjoyed being pampered at the hair salon by Mimi along with cousin Lulu. Back home, Adela became an independent swimmer this year and has shed “boring” soccer for life in the water. But what defined her year was her growth as an actress. She enrolled in musical theater classes and simply lit up the stage with her confidence and grit, performing in a summer cabaret and then in a version of Beauty and the Beast. Adela enjoys pretend in all its forms, from sitting rapt in the audience of a professional performance of Peter and the Wolf to dressing up as Tiana on Halloween, her favorite holiday of the year (Pretend and candy combined! What could be better?).

Matt listened to the President’s SOTU and is crowing about his prediction a year ago that Obama would run for a second term on the back of his education agenda. It seems that, in his many trips to DC to meet with East Coast clients, Matt picked up a fair amount of Beltway wisdom J. The consulting practice continues to offer him the right mix of vibrancy, connectedness and independence. He’s been especially excited about the opportunity to work with New Leaders for New Schools, supporting their vision of creating leadership that is desperately needed to make educational opportunity for underserved youth a reality. On the personal front, Matt took a rare solo ski trip to western Canada to meet up with Jason Friedman, who was doctoring in a town near Red Mountain, British Columbia. Later, he celebrated turning 40 by joining Richard Kassissieh and 10 other fantastic runners on a 212-mile relay race around central Oregon. Matt also traveled to Miami to spend time with the ever-resilient Dottie Kelemen as she recovered from a major surgery; it was the first time she had been a hospital patient since giving birth to her own children! Meanwhile, 2010 goes down as the year when Matt finally acknowledged his own aging by joining the old-man’s soccer league. He’s pleased to once again be faster than some of the players on the pitch and he has been trying to emulate all the stars he saw in South Africa.

Jeannette spent more time this year traveling for both work and fun. At Teachscape, Inc. she manages professional development for teachers and instructional leaders across the country and maintains her commitment to eliminate the achievement gap defining far too many communities. More miles in the air meant far fewer miles on the bicycle this year, but Jeannette happily picked up miles on the ski slopes and cross-country trails. Jeannette’s father was diagnosed with cancer in the spring, but fortunately his treatment and recovery have gone tremendously well and we all give thanks for his restored health. A “first” for Jeannette this year was serving on a jury in a San Francisco criminal court – a fascinating experience that reinforced her belief that justice can prevail when the right conditions are met. Facebook spawned a couple of high school reunions in the Bay Area this year after several of us realized we lived within 30 miles of one another, and treasured time with additional friends and family balanced out challenging work demands. Finally, Jeannette’s committed to resurrecting our bookclub this year, so if you have some great titles and themes to recommend, let her know!

2010 was a year of many blessings for us. We rekindled old friendships and made new ones with late-night chats around the Tahoe hearth. We reveled in many family gatherings, from joyful weddings (Michael & Corinne, Peter & Gabriela) to cousin confabs. We spent a weekend in the mountains without kids to celebrate our 10^th wedding anniversary. And we took singular joy in the news that Dominic and Solomon Bannister’s mother gained permission to move to the U.S. from Sierra Leone. We can’t wait to meet her and have been marveling at the idea that the boys will get to see their mother after 18 years apart.

So, it was the dreams and hopes of Africans that inspired us this year, both in our own city and in far-flung travels. Away from home, we were once again reminded of the kindness of strangers and, at home, we were reminded of the grace that comes in connections with family, friends and neighbors. We hope that your year was as fulfilling as ours and we wish you peace in 2011.